In view of some recent campaign bluster, your favorite columnist is not exactly brokenhearted that New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie — aka the Toll Booth Troll — has dropped out of the race.
While ripping Ohio Gov. John Kasich right before Christie’s debacle in New Hampshire, Christie also ripped the Ohio media.
His cheap shot was reported in the biggest newspaper in our swing state’s biggest city, a publication generally known as the Columbus Dispatch.
“I’m just better [than Kasich] because I’ve been tested,” he crowed during a campaign stop.
“I’m in the toughest media market in America. With all due respect to — what? I think it’s the Columbus Journal — it ain’t the New York Times. [And] the interrogation by the Akron Sun ain’t doing it.”
Well, Chris, I guess it’s that unwavering attention to detail that sets you apart.
FASHION POLICE
Beacon Journal Metro Editor Cheryl Powell was burning the midnight oil in the newsroom the other night when the police scanner crackled with the description of a suspect:
“She’s a white female, skinny, with blonde hair and bad roots.”
Quipped Powell, “Is bad hair a crime?”
ROAD TO HADES
Rabble-rousing reader Elias Vujovich of Southington weighed in on a discussion about the term “devil strip,” which I had jokingly asserted should be discontinued because of its connection to Satan.
I quoted my favorite televangelist, who, right before smacking someone on the forehead, would declare, “Devils be gone!”
Wrote Vujovich: “Perhaps your favorite Profit Prophet would prefer ‘Angel Aisle’ to ‘Devil Strip.’ ”
INK-BLOT TEST
A colleague who lives in Medina (to protect his identity, we will simply refer to him as “Craig Webb”) spotted an ad in a junk mail brochure that made him scratch his head.
It was a plug for Crave, the contemporary eatery in downtown Akron. Crave billed itself as “slightly eccentric, surprisingly down-to-earth, but mostly delicious.”
Webb said he would prefer a place that is uniformly delicious, rather than “mostly delicious.”
I think he missed the point. But he did have a point.
LOWER EDUCATION
Lots of folks (including me) would love to see University of Akron President Scott Scarborough escorted out of town. But the wording in the advertisements opposing him makes you wonder who’s leading the opposition.
Reader Chris Partis was taken aback by the first ad, which ran in my favorite newspaper on Feb. 10.
Wrote Partis: “The group that sponsored the ad certainly did not enhance its credibility by publishing ... two significant grammatical errors that I would not expect to see from anyone with a college education.”
One line read:
“Applicant’s ACT scores of 20 or higher DOWN 16%.”
“I wonder which applicant this was?” Partis quipped. “How many times did this person take the ACT?”
Another line declared:
“Confirmed new freshman for fall of 2016 DOWN 34%.”
Partis: “How did this single freshman achieve this? Was this person ‘down’ emotionally 34% of the time? Maybe he/she physically fell 34% of the times he/she was on campus?”
Things have not improved with subsequent ads. Jackson Township reader Elizabeth Schaffstein took issue with Sunday’s anti-Scarborough attack, which read:
“The backbone of a quality University is its full-time faculty. Since President Scott Scarborough took over the reigns of the University of Akron, he has stated that, ‘We can not afford tenured faculty.’ ”
Notes Schaffstein: “I know homophones cause difficulty for my seventh- and eighth-grade students at St. Augustine School. However, the creators of that ad should know the difference between ‘reigns’ and ‘reins.’ ”
Certainly should.
While we’re at it, we should also note that the generic reference to universities in the first sentence does not call for a capital “U.”
Let’s rein in the silly mistakes.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com. He also is on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bob.dyer.31