Everybody makes fun of it, but never on the record.
“This is my family dentist,” wrote one of the folks who brought the sign to my attention, “so you definitely can’t credit me.”
As a result, your favorite columnist will once again have to take all of the heat for making fun of something that richly deserves to be made fun of.
Check out the accompanying photo if you haven’t already. The drawing on the sign, erected in front of Valley Dental on Merriman Road in the Merriman Valley, is supposed to represent a dentist working on a patient.
But you don’t have to be a total perv to think these figures look like they are doing something else — something infinitely more fun than getting your teeth cleaned.
“I smile every time I drive past it,” says a reader.
Same here. Love it.
By the way, the “1852” on the sign is the street address, not the year the business was founded. People didn’t do those kinds of things back then. At least not right next to busy roads.
HUDSON HORROR
That perpetual hotbed of crime, Hudson, had to contend with yet another police incident the other day. Thanks to ever-vigilant Hudson resident Cheryl Gerbracht for forwarding this item from the Hudson Hub:
“An officer was dispatched to Ravenna Road at Middleton Road to retrieve a donkey that had escaped from its owner’s property nearby. It was returned to its owner. No charge was filed.”
Quips Gerbracht: Rather than filing charges, the officer simply warned the owner to “keep your ass out of the street!”
DAHMER FLASHBACK
Bob: As I read your piece about Jeffrey Dahmer and Mike Rankine, my thoughts were drawn back to the day in 1991 that the Dahmer story broke.
I had just left the Akron Public Schools as the principal at Firestone High School and was starting my tenure as the newly appointed principal at Revere.
I had only been on the job for a few weeks when I picked up the morning Beacon Journal and read the story. Needless to say, life in the Revere District was anything but normal for the next period of weeks, and beyond.
Here I was, new on the job in this nice, pristine suburban district, and all of a sudden a great deal of my time was focused on Dahmer. I searched his records, looked through yearbooks and spoke with staff who were at Revere during [Dahmer’s time there].
I started receiving phone calls from media of all kinds — news outlets, the National Enquirer, the Star … I even received a phone call at home on a Saturday morning from the BBC in London! It was nuts!
At the time, as I began to do the research on the guy, I was being bombarded with calls and really did not know much about his high school years. I remember one caller who just kept pestering me for information, documents, etc.
Finally, exasperated, I told the caller, “Hey, I have only been on the job for a few weeks! I only have skeletal information!”
Great choice of words, huh?
Bill Holko
Olmsted Falls
Bill: Probably not. But when it comes to Dahmer, I’m not sure there is a great choice of words.
FITTING ADDRESS
From a recent crime report:
“A Brunswick man was arrested after police reported finding more than 20 pounds of brownies thought to be laced with marijuana while conducting a search warrant at his Stoneybrook Lane apartment.”
Stoneybrook Lane, indeed.
SPEEDOMETER NEEDED
Bob: [A recent syndicated column] in my favorite newspaper contained this sentence: “Clinton ran well behind Obama among voters under 30.”
I had to read further to understand whether Clinton, although trailing behind Obama, did relatively “well,” or if she was “way” behind him with that group of voters.
Mike Reitz
Cuyahoga Falls
Mike: I think she was on a four-minute mile pace.
TEMPTING OFFERS
I just can’t fathom why my colleague Mark J. Price didn’t click on any of these offerings, which he discovered in a single day in his spam folder:
• Is it clean that you packing the food by hand?
• Harvard: These vitamins prevent death.
• Celebrate National Poetry Month and explore your inner poet.
• My beloved friend in the Lord, Please read my candid offer for humanity and get back to me.
• Greetings from Syria.
• Not a fundraising email.
• WHY YOUR FUND TRANSFER WAS STOPPED WHY?
A question for the ages.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com. He also is on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bob.dyer.31