Portion control?
What’s that?
The Akron RubberDucks unveiled three additions to its Extreme Foods menu Wednesday — gut-busting and heart-clogging items that likely will require coming to the downtown ballpark in comfortable pants if you’re interested in tackling them all by yourself.
There’s the Meat Your Maker Quesadilla, a three-tiered quesadilla filled with hot dogs, hamburgers and chicken tenders, along with chili, poutine gravy, and cheddar and American cheese.
It’s the size of a vinyl record and weighs … well, the RubberDucks aren’t sure how much it weighs, but it’s a ton.
Food and beverage director Brian Manning urged patience when ordering the quesadilla, saying that it takes about 20 minutes to prepare because of all the ingredients.
Meanwhile, the Squealer is a half-pound, foot-long hot dog that is cut in half and stuffed with pulled pork and cheddar cheese. If that weren’t enough, it’s wrapped in bacon, deep-fried and drizzled with barbecue sauce.
The other new item is the European Vacation, which seems quite tame compared to the other two.
It’s a foot-long bratwurst on a pierogi bun topped with fiery feta cheese spread and roasted red peppers.
The new items join an Extreme Foods menu at Canal Park that’s filled with fan favorites such as the Pineapple TeriyAkron Bowl, rice and chicken inside a hollowed out pineapple; and the Screamer, a 21-scoop ice cream sundae over a giant brownie.
Overall, the Extreme Foods menu features nine items.
“Every year we like to add new things,” said Adam Liberman, the RubberDucks director of media and public relations. “Food is such an important part of the ballpark experience and we’re all about fun, so why not create fun foods?”
The Extreme Foods items have prices that match their size.
The Meat Your Maker Quesadilla is $15. The European Vacation is $12. And the Squealer — available only at the Game Grill+Bar — goes for $10.99.
As the RubberDucks welcome the three new items, the minor-league baseball team also noted that two extreme foods aren’t returning this season.
Say goodbye to the Johnny Footlong — do you really need an explanation why? — and the Grand Slam Walk-Off Wedge, a salad featuring a full head of iceberg lettuce served in a baseball helmet.
The RubberDucks also announced a new menu at the Game Grill+Bar, which is connected to the ballpark.
The restaurant will include a buffet called “Chef’s Table.” The buffet will rotate foods by homestand.
During the unveiling Wednesday, it featured cold appetizers such as fruits and salad; hot appetizers such as nachos and pretzels; foods such as beef brisket, barbecued ribs, corn, and macaroni and cheese; and desserts.
The Chef’s Table will cost $18.99 for adults and $12.99 for kids under 12.
The RubberDucks also have added duck wings — as opposed to chicken wings — to the regular menu, which also includes burgers, salads and chicken wraps.
The duck wings were available last year inside the stadium, but this is the first year they will be served at the restaurant.
Manning said he thinks the duck wings will be a hit.
The beverage menu will include a mix of domestic and craft beer. Anyone interested in having a local craft beer, though, will be disappointed.
There’s not a single beer made in Northeast Ohio on the menu.
Beer distributor House of LaRose determined the beer menu, Manning said.
The Game Grill+Bar will be open two hours before every game.
The RubberDucks home opener is 6:35 p.m. April 14 against the Bowie (Maryland) Baysox.
Rick Armon can be reached at 330-996-3569 or rarmon@thebeaconjournal.com. Follow him on Twitter at @armonrickABJ.